The Story of the Cocoon

I would describe my experience of becoming a mother and nurturing my first baby like being in a cocoon; a silken protective nesting space, a place of incredible and challenging self transformation and creativity; a sacred space...

As my son, and I, grow older and reach further into the world beyond the infant's cocoon there are many times I have found it excruciating to stand by and watch him struggle; knowing that the carton he is grabbing is about to squirt juice all over him, his frustration at a too-long line of trains falling apart, insistently writhing to pull a t-shirt over his head through the arm hole... and then illness, falling off bikes... arguing with friends.

This story is medicine, which I have recalled and held in many patience-testing situations; a perfect parable for the art of standing back and allowing your children to become. For me it is a parents' call to humility, in allowing for their children's struggle and to trust in the beautiful winged unfolding of their unique soul journey.

The cocoon and the emperor moth

A man found a cocoon of an emperor moth. He took it home so that he could watch the moth come out of the cocoon.

On the day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the moth for several hours as the moth struggled to force the body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. It just seemed to be stuck.

Then the man, in his kindness, decided to help the moth, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The moth then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the moth because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the little moth spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening was the way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Freedom and flight would only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of a struggle, he deprived the moth of health.