I Have A Dream

I have been in many conversations as a parent, read books and been to groups, where the matters and decisions made on raising children have been talked of passionately, uncompromisingly... almost politically. Whether the conversation be about vaccinations, education, living on the land, television, bed sharing, breastfeeding, vegetarianism I have been reminded of the activist's passion I lived before I became a mother. We place the world of the future in our children's hands; how we raise them profoundly meets the purpose of activism. This passion and deep connection will shape the future world. But since having my son I have felt a shift that holds me back from losing my self in the rantings and rhetoric, standing gently on the periphery of these circles, despite having very passionately chosen many of these options for my family also.

Activism is 'the policy or action of using vigorous campaigning to bring about political or social change'... Yet I have seen children (including my own) burdoned and disturbed by the 'vigorous campaigning' parents fly-drop on the little souls in their care, to justify (to whom... our children, family, society?) our parental decisions that differ from societal norms.. or the family up the road. If our children are not empowered and more open to love by our approach we must be out of harmony with Love. If they have fear they cannot be in Love, and it is highly likely they will be reflecting our own relationship with Love and Fear. I realised that if I make a decision for my child with a feeling of judgement, fear or hopelessnes (depression can be seen as deeply repressed anger) my child feels not the 'loving' intellectual decision but the fearful soul to soul communication of how I view the world.

I took my son to demonstrations and marches with me when he was in the sling and I noticed I was acutely sensitive not to the intellectual content of these rallies this time, as a mother, but of the emotional quality of the activism I was meeting. Beautiful and wild compassion, crucial environmental and human responsibility could, in many, get held roughly back by a surge of anger, despair, hostility, judgement and fear. Peaceful in their actions I could feel conflict inside the hearts of us 'activists' being inacted on the street by police and protestor. Where there is fear Love cannot exist. And I realised it was only Love that I wanted to surround and nourish my child... Actually only Love that would nourish mine or anyone's soul... and the earth we desire to protect.

I have the kind of personality that finds it natural to care deeply about the ethical issues of today, but the beautiful lesson of motherhood illuminates the spiritual teachings that say again and again... come from Love, only from Love. We should care, we should feel inspired and empowered to make our own decisions for our family without fear or judgement; and we should do it with and for joy. The dance as parents is to live in your truth, grow your children in Love as you see it in actions and choices, but to also hold a space for your child's free will. Allowing them to experiment and meet 'cause and effect'; to embody with humility the path of Love as best you can for your child.

I am reminded of the most passionate human rights speech in our history, and that the spring board for this man's incredible journey towards racial equality, was Love for his children... What is our dream for our children, what freedoms do we wish for them? What is the world we place in their hands from the seeds of their childhood? I desire to parent not from fear or a sense of opposition but on the 'sunlit path' and 'solid rock' of our unique souls' Joy and Truth...

'Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force...

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream...

I have a dream that one day my four little children will one day live in a nation where they are judged not on the colour of their skin but on the content of their character.'

(Martin Luther King, 'I Have a Dream', delivered 28 August 1963. www.americanrhetoric.com/mlkihaveadream.htm)